Forgiveness

Forgiveness and release are some of the most powerful tools you will ever use.

4/20/2010

Many of us carry about with us….a lot of stuff. I had no idea how much until I found the book The Seven Healing Chakras by Brenda Davies.  I didn’t know what chakras were but something about this book lit my curiosity.  The book takes you through a process whereby you look back over your life, identify the most emotionally impactful experiences, forgive and release them.  The book changed my life.  And whether you know what chakras are or not, the concept of identifying, forgiving and releasing your past is one of the most powerful things you will ever do for yourself.

After completing the process in the book, I was so impressed with the process that I tweaked it a bit and folded it into work I now do with others.  The process is as follows:

Write a timeline of your life-   This is an example of a life chronology.  Fill in your age on the left, then the year, then where you lived, then what you were doing: school, job, etc. Then to the far right, start filling in the significantly impactful events of your life.  Best to include the difficult ones, the ones you probably carry some baggage around.  As you fill it in, you’ll remember things, list as much as you can.

0  1972  Houston↓ Born

1  1973         ↓  Dad had a new job

2  1974         ↓ (example- brother born), dog died

3 1975    Dallas↓ Moved

4  1976        ↓ Preschool

5  1977        ↓Kindergarten

6  1978         ↓1st Grade, best friend Robin

7  1979         ↓2nd Grade, moved away from friends

8  1980  Houston↓3rd Grade, new school, new friends, missed old friends

9  1981          ↓ 4th Grade, liked Cliff, but he didn’t like me

10 1982        ↓ 5th Grade,

11  1983        ↓6th Grade, moved in middle of year, yanked out of friend group, first period

12 1984         Different part of Houston,   7th grade, tried to make new friends

13 1985          ↓  8th Grade, Blake broke up with me, Kelly moved away.

13 1986           ↓  9th Grade, dated Clint, episode with Kirsten, didn’t do well in school

14 1987          ↓  10th Grade, hanging out with Kristen, drinking, smoking etc. , summer school

15 1988           ↓  11th Grade, Dad quit job, Mom went to work, felt different at home

16 1989           ↓  12 Grade, got a job, got a car, Gretchen gone.

17 1990 ,  College, Mississippi, all new people, hard adjustment, dated Jim

18  1991 ,  Mississippi/ moved back to TX, roomed with Teresa, difficult transition, grandmother died.

I could go on, but I think you get the gist of it.  Try to include everything you have “stinging” feelings around.  The more honest you are, the more you include, the more cathartic the process will be.  It does not matter whose fault things were.  It doesn’t matter if you “shouldn’t” feel bad about something, if you you have negative emotions surrounding the event or episode, include it, whatever it is!  If your parents bringing home your sibling caused you distress as a child, include it….doesn’t matter that you judge that it shouldn’t have.  We must stop shoulding all over ourselves.  Feel what you feel, so that you can heal what you feel.

Do this all the way up to the age you are now.  This exercise may take some time and it may be emotional for you.  Just let the emotions come. Just sit with yourself and accept how you feel.  Try not to judge yourself.  Just be with the feelings.  They are there, let them be.  Don’t rush yourself with this, work on it one day and put it down and come back to it when you are ready.  Things you’d forgotten will arise.  Be easy and gentle with yourself.  Just recognize that there are things in your past that still carry an emotional charge.  The more things that you can find, the more things you can release yourself from.  And you CAN release yourself. You do NOT have to carry them the rest of your life.  As many people notice when they do this exercise, you will see patterns and you may get a wider glimpse of some of the life decisions you’ve made. Just remember, you have survived it all, you are alive now.  It’s all ok.

In my next post, I’ll take you through the next process.  If you can’t wait, check out Brenda Davies’ Book!  Until then, keep digging, your past, is your key to your future